There's Not Enough Hours in the Day

I've heard this phrase for years and until now, have never fully understood how horribly true this is. This past week, I have been praying for more hours in the day. Tuesday evening, Alex fell asleep at 6pm and didn't wake up the rest of the evening. I was a little devastated. I woke him up a little after 8pm to feed him but since he barely woke up I put him right back to bed and he slept all night. Poor kid must have needed the sleep but that gave me just under two hours with him. Yep, that's it, less then 2 hours. Last night was a similar situation. Maybe this week has been particularly hard because I'm coming off of a GREAT 4 day weekend with Alex. It sure makes me think, is a reliable paycheck, an insurance policy and other working perks worth the time I lose everyday with him? Or worth the extra lbs I've gained burying myself in M&M's? (The M&M's really are the only way to keep from crying some days!). Boohoo, I know. I really am very lucky and shouldn't be complaining at all. Some weeks are just hard though and it's nice to "vent" here.

Georgia

Colt made a very quick trip to Georgia a few weeks back to watch Casey graduate from Basic Training in the Army. I was suppose to be on that trip but with all the struggling I've been doing just leaving Alex to go to work, I couldn't bare the thought of leaving him for 3 whole nights, so I stayed back.

Colt had a great time, other than the travel. The first ceremony was the Turning Blue ceremony. Not exactly sure what this means other than meaning he's an official U.S. Soldier now. Each soldier was allowed to have one family member place their blue "ribbon" (not sure if that's what it's called) on their shoulders, so Val did this for Casey. The last picture is of the big ceremony the next day with a band, a gun show thing, and all the units marched out onto the field. Clearly I don't know the terminology! Maybe I'd be more knowledgeable if I went. Congratulations Case :)

Back To Work

I'm back to work now and it's been very rough. We met a great lady through a friend of a friend who is now watching Alex during the day. She has been a daycare provider for 20 some years and she seems great with Alex. I think he really enjoys being around the other kids too because he seems fascinated by them and is always watching them. So Alex seems to be taking this transition much better then I am. It's been so much worse then I thought it would be. Leaving Alex with a stranger is almost impossible for me so Colt has been dropping him off in the mornings and I've been picking him up in the evenings. But even picking him up has been a struggle. Watching Alex start to bond with somebody that isn't even a part of my life is awful. It's great for him, but hard for me. I should be thanking my lucky stars that she came into our lives because so far she's been nothing but a blessing... but I struggle with being thankful. It's a work in progress and I'm hoping each day will just get easier and easier.

Sunday Traditions

I don't know if I would call it tradition so much as just habit, but growing up my mom, sisters and I would always go get coffee and pastries after church on Sunday mornings. Now that I'm older I can't go strait home after church, it just seems wrong or like something is missing and I have to stop and get a coffee. After having Alex I'm finding it's not always so easy to have such a leisure Sunday out and about so I've decided to start making brunch at home on Sundays. Hopefully it will help us save a few extra bucks on coffee and keep us from shopping at Lowes or Home Depot after church, our OTHER tradition/habit. It will be a while before Alex gets to enjoy our new Sunday tradition but I'm hoping that while he's still young this will become so routine for him that when he's a teenager and maybe even older he will come to look forward to it (this might be wishful thinking, I know!).

This week I made Dutch Babies... yum!

Crazy Thoughts

I think there is something sick and wrong with me because for the past few weeks I've actually missed, and are you ready for this... kind of want to be pregnant again! This is just madness because I did not enjoy being pregnant with Alex. My first trimester I was sick almost every night. My second trimester was Ok, not great just Ok. And my third was a mixture of sleepless nights, back pain and swollen feet and ankles. Why in the world would I want to go through that again so soon?? This is why there must be something wrong with me. Instead of postpartum depression, I must have postpartum I want another baby syndrome.

It's not just the pregnancy either, Colt's cousin and his wife just had a baby yesterday and ALL day all could think about was how exciting that first day was. Getting to watch your little one look back at you really is amazing. I would probably start crying if I got pregnant anytime soon but I just keep thinking about how I can't wait to do it all over again. Maybe it's because there is nothing to fear now? I know what being pregnant is like, I know what labor and delivery is like, and I know how AWFUL the recovery is... but I also know how totally worth it is is too.

I just need to keep reminding myself to enjoy the time I have with Alex now and not rush into making my family bigger just yet.

Picture Updates

I have been getting flack from a lot of people about not updating my blog so here are a few pics!


Saying hi!



After bath time :)



With cousin Joey



With Auntie Mallory